Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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