hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
