I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
