Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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