she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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