He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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