Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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