was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
