FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
