HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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