We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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