I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
