My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
