the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
