I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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