i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
