the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
