what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
