so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
