there was a trapeze. enough said
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
