Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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