it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
