And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
