this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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