I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
