Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
