Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
