They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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