Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
