she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
