upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
