Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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