I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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