its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
