That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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