p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
