Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
