Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
