shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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