Apparently you make a good broom.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
