I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All the doctor said was why
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
