Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
