i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
