If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
