apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
