i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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