so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
