how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
