its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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