I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
